Marriage - Help or Hindrance?Bro. David Chancellor
5/30/1999 6:00 PM
God gave Adam a job to do. He named the animals (and therefore had to come up with a language). He had a work to do. God saw he needed a help - one who would be beneficial for him. God's plan was marriage.
Genesis 3:11, 12, 17-19
Help or hindrance? God's purpose in giving Eve to Adam was to be a help. However she became a hindrance. She caused him to choose the wrong way. Marriage can either be a help or a hindrance, a blessing or a great deal of trouble. If a person does not or will not help you in what you will accomplish in life it is not a good thing. God's intent was that it would add to, help and provide companionship along life's way. God intended that a husband and wife would encourage one another and bear each other up, not add to the burden. Be an encourager whenever you can and don't add weight to other's load. Don't be a source of discouragement and trial.
Two are better than one in most cases. Two people fussing is not better. Two are better than one if the two work together, because if they don't they will only get half as much done. There is a benefit to having someone to help, to lift up, to encourage. The "buddy system" really works when they work together. Two against one is a better fight. Marriage needs to be a three-fold cord - husband, wife, and God - working for God's purpose. A marriage should enhance our ability to work for God. It should add to. Husband and wife should both be dedicated to God and his purpose.
A wife is a good thing - a favor of the Lord. The apostle Paul admonished them not to get a hindrance (that it would be better to be single than to have that hindrance). Keep God first. God's plan and will is for people to get married. God is not in a marriage when it is a detriment to people's soul. It is better to find a beneficial help - someone who can add to, not take away.
Proverbs 21:9, 19
There's some things that aren't wonderful - you'd be better off elsewhere than to be with a contentious person. It won't be a happy situation for either person. You marry the wrong one and you'll have a difficult and miserable life. It's not how much money you have, but how well you can pull together for a common good. We need what the Lord intended in marriage - for the same purpose and goals. God intended that marriage would produce a benefit for both. If marriage is to be a good thing, both have to give in such a way as to get good from it. The focus should be two working for the cause in a way that one could never do. We should pray in this manner, "Will it make us more effective, more useful?" Marriage isn't supposed to be bondage and misery but a benefit and blessing.
This is what God intended a wife to be. There needs to be trust in marriage. It has to be there prior to marriage. If the signs are there against it being beneficial, you can be sure they are right. Trust and confidence are essential for teamwork. Always wondering what the other one is up to is not good. Trust and confidence are very important for teamwork. Lack of this causes friction and problems. You have to have trust and confidence for it to be a help. Marriage won't prosper too well if you're trying to get the best of one another. Be careful with teasing each other that it doesn't go to the point of being hurtful. Do each other good and not evil. It's not good to be tearing each other down. Marriage is about work; working together; being a help for one another. Both need to work willingly. This will help the family to prosper. Expect there to be some work in marriage. Maybe you won't feel like doing it, but it will still have to be done. Marriage is about work, only you have two to do it instead of one. Be a help to each other. It requires doing some things when you really don't feel like it. It is someone who contributes to the success of the marriage. Marriage will help to be a benefit to others, a blessing to those around, not only focused on own needs, but also the needs of others. People in a bad marriage won't have much to give to others as they will be primarily focused on their own situation. God wants a husband and wife to pull together for those around them as well as themselves, to be effective for God. A wife can contribute to the success of her husband, he the same for her. They need to build each other up. A wife has an influence on her husband's success. Husbands and wives should be known as a team. Share the responsibility for the successes not just the failures. God didn't intend for us to be lazy and the work is not all about money. There's still a need for people to do the work of God. Go two by two, working together for the cause of God. A real help brings forth real praise. God intends marriage as a help.