Our Role in the FamilyBro. David Chancellor
10/18/2009 6:00 PM
The nation and the church are both built on family life. The success of both depends on the success of the family. If you fail at home, you’ll ultimately fail to make heaven your home. As your home life fails, your spiritual life will also fail.
Your home should feel safe and protected. It should be a place of peace and comfort, a respite from the storm. We’ll look at it from a Biblical perspective. It worked then, and it will work now. We want happy homes built according to God’s plan. Love and respect should be taught there. Discipline will be required for love and respect to be there. This will make the home a happy place.
Ephesians 5:32-33; 6:1-4
This is a great mystery: but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself, and the wife see that she reverence her husband.
Children, obey your parents in the Lord; for this is right. Honour thy father and mother; which is the first commandment with promise; That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth. And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.
There are three roles mentioned here – husband, wife, child. Everyone will always be someone’s child.
Husbands: "Nevertheless let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself…" Your role is to model love. This is different from a mother’s love. If your only picture of love is "whatever makes me feel good" that is a selfish love. The husband is to model sacrificial love. He is to give of himself to his wife and to be a role model to the children. It’s giving of self when it takes all you’ve got to do it. This could include going to work when you don’t feel like it. He should be willing to do for her whatever he would do for himself. You’re not modeling love if your wife is your slave. If you will model love effectively, you’ll ask more of yourself than you will of her. Sacrificial love modeled in the home requires some thought and consideration about how to be a blessing to your wife. It’s about denying self for her benefit. Doing this will help your children know what love is.
Children need to see you giving to others. This kind of love should begin in courtship and be practiced before the children arrive. Home should be a place where love is seen and felt.
Wife: It’s your place to teach respect to the children. Model respect in your relationship with your husband. How do you treat him, especially in front of your children? The respect you get (or don’t get) from your children is based on how you treat your husband. When you don’t agree, stay respectful, and talk it out later. When you teach respect for the children’s father, you also earn respect. When you respect authority, they learn to respect authority, too. "…and the wife see that she reverence her husband." The wife should model respect for authority.
Parents are modeling in the home what they’d like to have in their children’s lives. Fighting and fussing in front of the children doesn’t teach love and respect.
We’ve defined these roles so that we can look at ourselves and see what we need to work on so that we can do what God would have us to do.
Children: Obey your parents, as long as you are living in their home. You can run your own home as you see fit when you get one. Respect the way your parents choose to run their home. Once you’re on your own, you can do it your way, and it’s not your parents’ place to interfere there.
Disobedience can make your parents’ life very difficult. They are judged by what you do. It is important to obey and respect the order of the home.
Honor your parents. This carries on your whole life. It includes taking care of them. Be a help to them in their older years. Have respect and appreciation for them all the way to the end. Whether they did a great job or not, they’re still your parents and are worthy of your honor. Appreciate them and all they’ve done for you. Be there to help when it’s needed, if you can.
Obedience changes when you become an adult, but honor should never change. Honor and respect should help you model what a child of God should be. Get the grace of God in you. Have love and respect at work in your home. Don’t fail of the grace of God in your home. God wants us to succeed in our walk with him.
Even in a home where only one is saved, filling your role can draw the other to God. Focus on your role and doing it well. If you would live for God, you should learn to obey. There’s more to consider than just you. It’s bigger than that. You need to fill your role as it ought to be. Consider whether you’re doing what God would have you to do. Work to live right and treat everyone as you should. Fulfill your responsibility; be faithful to fill your role. When you do, you can have a happy home.
Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man. For God shall bring every work into judgment, with every secret thing, whether it be good, or whether it be evil.
Our purpose is to walk with God. When we build our lives around anything else, how can we hope to succeed? Live to the purpose God has given you. (See 3 John 2) If you are doing well spiritually, this should be a blessing. Practical application of God’s word at home is essential for us to succeed in life. Take your role and responsibility to heart. Live in your role the way God ordained it to be.